Monday 6th April 2020
Lockdown Fortnight !
Wow- making a few people think with Sir Boris having a bit of a set-back . No doubt they are being Uber-Cautious with the Man we seem not to be able to do without at the moment. Strange how bad-times can unite a Country behind someone that exudes optimism.
So the First one on this Tuesday morning come from the Ladies, so we are brave enough to post it here as there are no winners -
So the First one on this Tuesday morning come from the Ladies, so we are brave enough to post it here as there are no winners -
April 6
Anthony
Fokker (born 1890), founder of the aircraft firm. Douglas Bader once gave a
speech at a posh girls’ school about his experiences during World War II, and
mentioned a particular battle. ‘My engine was on fire, I had two of the f***ers
on my tail, one f***er was coming up at me from the left, there were two more
f***ers about a hundred feet above me …’ The headmistress panicked and said:
‘As I’m sure you know, girls, there was a type of German plane during the war
called the “Fokker”’. Bader replied: ‘I don’t know about that – all I can tell
you is these chaps were flying Messerschmitts.’
here's your Mental test for the Day from Dave W again
There are lots of ways in Windows to get a print of a particular picture, image or text on the Blog. I often use Windows Snip Keys
First Click on the image of the Quiz Sheet above.
Three Finger action, hold down Windows, Shift and "S" keys
A box appears at top of screen, move cursor to third box and click 'Full Screen'
A box should appear bottom right with the item copied.
Open that window and Top right are three dots...
Select Print and Bingo...or you can paste into a Word Document or Email to get a printout...
Type Windows Keyboard Tricks on a Search and there are lots of fun things to do.
Had a few comments about the Picture of a Member sitting on 13th Tee - He was in fact doing his daily exercise, following the Ramblers path which starts from near his home and crosses right through the 12th Fairway -you must have seen walkers there from time to time. 2 Hours 15 Minutes
Check-out the Ramblers Websites...
Check-out the Ramblers Websites...
I met this bloke with a
didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's
Aboriginal.'
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This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
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I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'
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I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'
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I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End'
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I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.'
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I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'
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My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel.
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I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.'
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I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.
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I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.
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I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.
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The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'
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I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'
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This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me..'
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I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.'
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I phoned the local builders today, I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'
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This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'
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I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest'
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I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened... I said 'I careered off the road'
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I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.
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I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
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I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'
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I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'
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A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.'
Always rely on Jethro for a smile, no swearing either..thanks Eric
Quick rest on my walk today... 😊 'Guess the knee?' competition? Good news is tees, greens and fairways all looking good. 👍
Right, homewards!!
So today's first 2nd addition is another Math's poser from David...I make it 32 but am losing confidence after the trickery of the last one...
Eric says "As regards today’s Maths poser, I make it 133 (4 + 15 x 7) but like you I’m not very confident."
Dave also challenged us to post this one, so let's be brave...
..but that's exactly WHY he's a Billionaire !
Clive is thinking ahead, get's my support...
( I’ll get my contact Mr Timpson, the philanthropic owner of Timpsons to donate a cup).
As the captain’s charity is a London hospital the more we can do the better.
Looks like we will have a new currency to deal with in weeks to come, are you feeling flush ?
